Memorial Day weekend last year, I’m prepping for our first backyard barbecue of the season when I lift the lid on our grill and nearly lose my appetite. The grates look like they’ve been marinating in their own grease since the Clinton administration. Chunks of mystery meat welded to the surface, a layer of carbonized … Read more
Two weeks ago, I pulled a load of “clean” towels out of the washer and nearly gagged. They smelled like a combination of wet dog, old gym socks, and something that might have died in a swamp. I thought maybe I’d left them sitting too long after the cycle finished, so I rewashed them with … Read more
Last Wednesday at 7 AM, I opened our microwave to heat my coffee and nearly screamed. The entire inside looked like a crime scene from a pasta sauce explosion. Crusty orange splatters coating the ceiling, mysterious chunks welded to the sides, and that smell that can only be described as “despair mixed with marinara.” My … Read more
Staring at a pile of grimy bath toys that my toddler had been using for approximately six months without proper sanitizing, I realized I was facing the choice between spending my Saturday afternoon scrubbing each rubber duck individually with a toothbrush, or continuing to let my child bathe with what essentially amounted to floating petri … Read more
Picture this: Your mother-in-law calls at 4 PM to say she’s “in the neighborhood” and would love to stop by for dinner. You know, the same mother-in-law who once ran her finger along your baseboards during a previous visit and made that little “hmm” sound that haunts your dreams. You look around your house and … Read more
Last Saturday morning when I walked into my main bathroom, I literally recoiled in horror. The counter looked like a tornado had hit a cosmetics factory – toothpaste splatters creating abstract art across the mirror, hair stuck to everything like some kind of follicular crime scene, and mysterious puddles of… something… that I was honestly … Read more
If you’re living in a house where every meal, craft project, or simple walk through the yard somehow results in mysterious stains that appear on your favorite clothes like they’re magnetically attracted to expensive fabric, and you’ve become an expert at discovering discoloration hours later when it’s already set into permanent decoration, these stain removal … Read more
If you’re spending $8+ on dryer sheets every month only to run out at the worst possible moment, while breathing mystery chemicals and wondering why laundry products cost more than actual food, this is for you. You know that moment when you open your dryer to static-filled clothes that stick to everything and smell like … Read more
If you’re spending $30+ every month on cleaning products that promise miracles but deliver mediocre results while your grocery budget slowly bleeds to death in the cleaning aisle, this is for you. You know that moment when you’re standing in front of wall-to-wall cleaning products, each one claiming to be the “ultimate” solution for specific … Read more
Picture this: It’s 2 AM, your kid wakes up crying, and you discover they’ve had an accident all over their brand new mattress. Or maybe it’s your pet, or that one friend who had a little too much wine at the sleepover. Whatever the disaster, you’re standing there in your pajamas, staring at a stain … Read more